Imagine That!
by Jemi Gr
Summary: [CATS fic] Electra has a crush on Alonzo, and Etcetera must convince the lucky tom to talk to her friend before she annoys him too much... imagine that! Shortness & sweetness.


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Imagine That!

"Lectra likes you, ya know," said Etcetera.

"Shut up Etcy." It had been a hard day patrolling the Junkyard, and Alonzo was really in no mood to exchange petty words with the tribe's resident gossiper about who liked him this week.

"Oh, touchy touchy," said Etcetera with a nasty smirk. "Me thinks that Alonzo is a little sensitive about this subject matter…?"

"_Shut up, Etcy_!!" cried Alonzo.

Etcetera only giggled.

"Go bug Pouncival," said Alonzo. "Tell him who's got a crush on him."

Etcetera made a face. "No one's got a crush on _Pouncival_. That's stupid. Why even bring it up?"

Alonzo rolled his eyes. "Fine then. Tumblebrutus."

"Nah. Already told him quite a few times that Exotica's been shamelessly flirting with him for the last two days. He doesn't seem to want to hear it though."

__

Well I wonder why?!? thought Alonzo bitterly. He sighed. "Plato then."

"No way – Victoria would hate me if I told," said Etcetera stubbornly. She didn't seem to realize that she _had_ just told. But Alonzo didn't care.

"Mistoffelees, then."

Etcetera pondered this one for a moment. "Hmmm… Jemima has suddenly starting blushing really really really hard whenever he comes within fifty thousand feet of her – but Mistoffelees isn't any _fun_ to bug. He doesn't get annoyed like you do."

Alonzo sighed and gave in. "Fine then. Tell me all about Electra's stupid crush or whatever."

Etcetera squealed. "Well, you see, we were going down to Tugger's house to see if we could find some evidence that he's been cheating on Bombalurina, and we ran into Munkustrap, who told us to go back to the Junkyard, and we did, and as we were going in we saw you patrolling the Junkyard and I said to Electra "Hey, if we don't manage to break Tugger and Bomba up, one of us can have Alonzo" because to tell the truth you were all sweaty and glistening and you really did look kinds sort… well… you know..." she giggled. "You know… like sexy." She burst into a fit of giggles again.

Alonzo rolled his eyes. Kittens!

Etcetera's giggles finally subsided, and she continued. "Anyway, then Electra got all funny and started making these weird noise like the Mrs. Rose's radio makes whenever I 'accidentally' move the antenna. Except the noises Electra made didn't included Mrs. Rose screaming 'You stupid goddamned cat!' and Mr. Rose saying 'I can't hear the music anymore, honey.'"

She paused for a moment, and in that split second, Alonzo thought maybe, just maybe, the story was over… but he should have known better.

"Anyway, we were hanging out in the junkyard later and I was like 'Do you like Alonzo' and she's all 'No way' and I'm like 'Yes, you most definitely do!' and she's all 'No, I most definitely do not' and then I asked her why she got all weird when she saw you and she said it's cause she thought you were a radio and then I'm like, ooh, you were sendin him signals and she's all calling me a pervert and stuff…"

Alonzo sighed and looked at the clock. "Listen, Etcetera, I kind of have someplace to be…"

"Not now, I'm telling you a story!" cried Etcetera. "So then I ask 'Do you want me to hook you two up?' and she says 'Would you?' and I say 'So you do like him!' and she says 'Yeah' and then you conveniently happened to walk by and then Electra started drooling and then she suddenly needed to go home and do stuff so I followed you and here we are now."

"Is there a point to all this?" cried Alonzo, now very exasperated at having almost ten minutes of his precious time wasted.

"Yes," said Etcetera stubbornly. "The point is, Electra likes you, and you should go find her. Right now."

"Etcetera, I can't, I've got things to do."

"Oh come on!"  


"No," said Alonzo firmly. "I've got a life to live and I can't go around confronting every kitten that's ever-" He stopped mid sentence and paused. "Did you say she was drooling?"

Etcetera smiled. "Yep."

Alonzo leaned forward. "How much?"

"Buckets," smiled Etcetera.

Alonzo leaned back with a smirk on his face. "Maybe I will go talk to Electra after all…"

"YES!" cried Etcetera. "Trust me, Lonzo, you WON'T regret it. Electra's so sweet, and she's really got it bad for you – she'll be the best date you've ever had, trust me, except for maybe that one time you went on a date with Mistoffelees-"

"IT WAS NOT A DATE!" cried Alonzo furiously, his facing turning crimson.

"Yeah… ok…" said Etcetera with a nod. "Well, anyway, just go talk to Electra!"  


Alonzo sighed as he trekked toward Electra's house. Kittens could be so exasperating sometimes… especially Etcetera, she was definitely a handful… how Jellylorum dealt with her was beyond him…

__

Well, maybe not all kittens are so bad, he thought to himself. _Like Electra… she's kinda cute… and she drooled over me! I've never had a queen drool over me before._

Huh. Imagine that!

~fini~


End file.
